2nd week of challenge

During the first week I started new activities which I hadn't ever really done before, such as knitting and yoga. Soon, I found out that I need to shift character of my challenges. I can't continuosly start new things without ending the old ones, which I have left hanging on. It's logical that I just can't fill my life, cos' otherwise my head would blow up.

In some way though, it is easy to take new things to your life. They feel exotic, give immediate pleasure, you see yourself developing quickly. Unfortunately, they are all trade-offs. As you take a new thing, your focus on the former ones decrease. Finally you notice yourself how you have forgotten and let those old things incompleted. It's probable that it will happen to knitting and yoga, unless I change my emphasis. Therefore, my focus has aimed on the former things, which I have procrastinated. What an interesting way to learn life-management and to achieve more!

Tuesday was the most killing day. I almost collapsed mentally, because I had faced such many obstacles. I couldn't get to dancing after all and my master's thesis didn't clarify in my mind. I had done such a big work to work that out but still, it is very unclear. The topic is extremely interesting and important, though.
Mental challenge then, was to accept my condition and let it go for a while. Without my mother's tea-healing I would have broken up. Demons started to arise and few tears even dropped by.
 Luckily I could find my inner power in the end. For now, I have managed to put my master's thesis forward. It's extremely pushing to learn I never give up and surrender. For sometimes I'm also too inpatient, which I need to practice more.

It has been hard for me to relax completely and not worrying about things I need to do. A good practice for me could be to have a day without any efforts.
I also could continue to learn knitting, but I need to practice that a lot until I learn it truly. I started writing dream-diary but I failed as I couldn't continue it longer than few days.

What I am very PROUD OF, is I haven't used any intoxicants, such as alcohol for the whole time, although I've been in several parties. I've drank lots of tea, however.

For mental development, I'm able to show my emotions more honestly to others and especially, to myself. I can express my will more strictly. I focus more and more on decreasing the use of conditional in my speech. As I have wrote these things, many friends memorized me to remain the most characteristics of my personality, because they are golden and rare.
 It is interesting to make a dichotomy between the things I want to develop in myself and the things which I shouldn't ever change. This is about self-acknowledgement to know how to direct that development. In any case, I need to accept myself as I am, also the not-so-good sides. And that's what is hard, because too often I get frustrated to myself as I want to be something else, that I need to develop myself.
Sometimes I see it in social situations, in which other people demand that unconsciously. Therefore, this phrase runs in my mind, which I find useful. "I don't need to please people all the time". There is a way to be selfish in a good way. That is what I call assertive.

prototype for tattoo

Here is a list of things I planned to do for the past week:
Go busking -> yes (I played support song for dumpster-diving in front of shopping malls. It was recorded and filmed. Wait till it's edited!)
Dream-diary -> partly yes
Dancing -> no, but there are reasons in which I couldn't influence
Ice-skating -> yes
Continue master's thesis -> yes
Get injection needles to make ear-piercing hole -> yes (from a friend)
Plan a prototype for tattoo -> yes

injection needles for ear piercing

I also did
Impro-rap in a party
Get a dear shirt back from a friend
Performing in front of people in a panel, voluntarily
Tell my father about taking a tattoo
Call to a friend when feeling bad and show my vulnerability to others
Ask injection needles from pharmacy and try to get them free of charge -> didn't work, though

For this week
Send letters to dear people
Music jamming night
Graffiti-making among a bonfire and friends
Wedding speech

1st week of challenge

Over a week ago, a good friend called me, if I'd like to get involved in a challenge. I said why not. Sounds intriguing. My personality is often, that I go into things which life brings inherently in front of me. I take them as opportunities and ways to discover new things about life.

Now, for one week I've been challenging myself. I should do one challenge a day, but often I get into a flow and continue doing other stuff I haven't ever done. Often challenges changed from what I originally planned to do, but that's what they call "change of plans" or "carpe diem". The things I did were mostly things I should have done, not that scary (except UE) or revolutionary.

 I decided to invest more on myself and develop DIY (do it yourself)-skills. I also wrote about my thoughts and emotions I felt and how they had changed, how I could process them more and know ways to do that.

No one told me earlier that I shouldn't bury strong sentimental emotions on the background and wait them to fade away, vice versa, how it's important to face them and go inside them, although it's exhausting and it hurts. I already reduced strongly my ways to gain hedonistic pleasure, such as intoxicants and masturbation. I want to learn other, implicit ways to feel pleasure. I feel I need to be more strict with people sometimes, even more selfish. And stop using conditional and "sorry" in my speech!

For this week, my biggest effort is to go busking in front of two shopping centres and play a support song for dumpster-diving. That scares me! That's why I need to do that. If I couldn't fail, what all would I do?

Knitting!

A rat tail

Here is a list of things for the first week:
- to start doing my master's thesis research plan -> planning started
- learn how to knit -> learning started
- to start yoga -> yes
- start doing kombucha -> yes
- go to a directed meditation -> yes
- arrange a time for taking a tattoo -> yes
- arrange a time for taking an ear-piercing -> yes
- ask someone to do a rat tail for my hair -> yes
- start to analyze and acknowledge social situations in which there is a need to be assertive -> yes
- learn what is permaculture about -> partly yes
- contact friends I haven't seen for a long time -> partly yes
- jogging to a university lecture and back -> no
- start writing a dream-diary -> no
- go busking -> no

a KGB car in industry area! Authentic

Inside the building

Additionally, I ended up doing more spontane things
- urban exploring to a new empty building
- get to know a new person
- physical exercise once a week
- go talking with random people
- rolling into a snow after sauna -> yes, on a roof
- planned a venture abroad

Initiation for the challenge

First part of my blog was about traveling by hitch-hiking in Europe. I wanted to express how it's possible and how much it enhances mentally to do such an adventure.

Still, although I showed great capability to overcome myself and go through such adventure, I still, far too often, find myself procrastinating various issues I should do. Most of them are sort of things I have to do in some point without any strict deadline. So I always shift them later. I also need to overcome my fears in some things.
Therefore, to get a mental kick on my mental ass, I will start a next adventure, but a different kind. It's originally called 30 days of fear, implemented by some guy. It can be found from here: http://www.highexistence.com/epic-challenge-30-days-of-fear/.

It started yesterday. Thus, there is still 28 days to go, when I do one of three things:
- Something I fear
- Something I've been putting off
- Something I've never done before

I will write here about the things I've done, at least weekly. The challenge began yesterday, so my start was to prepare Kombucha, fermented tea, in which a mutualistic relationship between yeast and bacteria excrete probiotic healthy substances into it. I also started to plan a meeting with an old friend and when I get an ear piercing.

A pickle pot. Handy..

There lies my dear slimy fellow

Today, I started to plan my master's thesis plan, decided when I will have my first tattoo and went to talk with a goofy old lady in a tram.

22.8 (Day 22) Last days in Amsterdam + thoughts about the journey

My two days in Amsterdam were different. I was with my two friends, having a city holiday. I could leave my stuff to their hotel room and spend time in the city as a normal tourist, without a huge backpack and dust in my legs. We went to see a gig. I could sleep inside, on a soft, comfortable bed. I slept so well, by the way. The night was best in ages. My friends were so nice. I could sleep with them, to discuss deeply about things.

Late night, I went wandering my own, with harmonica. I wanted to explore, see the people going to their ways. I felt like I'm not part of their reality. Maybe I even wanted to feel alienated from them, an outsider. I enjoyed being alone. I went to look for food, a strange habit I learned. I found some chips. I went to play harmonica by the canal, like in some romantic movies. Nothing happened, however :/. I meandered in parks and met some alternative people to play guitar with. Some young, 16 year old people, hitch-hiked from east Germany! And I thought I was young :O.

I hadn't done check-in yet to the flight so I had to pay some additional bullshit, also for my backpack. But then, I was approaching Helsinki. Lights just closed down in the plane. Soon, I'm back home, alive, happy with new friends, and wiser.. well, hopefully. Life carries and supports you, wherever you go.

Mental attitude during the trip is different compared to normal routine life. Lots of energy, no worries, simple life. You are careless, positive and radiate good energy. People you meet usually come along for short times only, few days max. But they stay, at least in your heart. I remember all the people I met, so vividly. In petrol stations, borders, parks, some sketchy forest paths in the middle of the night.

I sometimes forget how my attitude was back then. I think, sometimes, I get that same, positive glowing feeling in my everyday life. And I remember how it was hard for me to adapt back, like there was no adventure anymore. That's depressing. But there are always adventures. You just need to see and search for them.

FINALLY, it might interest my dear readers, how much did all of this cost..
I counted everything, food, bus, plane tickets, money transfer costs, festivals, gig tickets, EVERYTHING. In three weeks, I spent 600e. For the first 8 days, I spent 54e.

Wednesday 21.8 (Day 21) Hamburg- Amsterdam

Last day of hitch-hiking, but not an easy one. I had to travel around 475 km before System Of a Down start its concert. I had around 12 hours time but I already had the ticket so it was necessary to be there on time.. but also awake! Hitching is a tiring activity sometimes.

For the first time during the trip, I had an alarm for morning, that I would succeed on my effort. I woke up 7 am, sun shined. Went straight to the petrol station looking for lift. I met two German hitch-hikers. They were just starting their trip. The boy even gave me a sandwich :). I asked for a lift around 1½ hours, until a young woman came to me and said she could drive me to Bremen. Wow! Young women rarely do that. It was nice talking with her. With her sport car, I got quickly to Bremen. She left me to a big petrol station. I went to look for a lift to Osnabrück, my next destination.

 After 1 hour, a big truck stopped there. It was loaded with pigs, probably going to a slaughterhouse. It was easy to notice them due to the noises. I went to see them. There were so many of them. I wanted to cheer them up a bit. Only thing which came to my mind was that I gave the rest of the raisins to them I had with me, so they could chew something sweet and tasty before getting slaughtered.

Finally, I got a lift from 3 elder people. They haven't ever took a hitch-hiker before. They were going to Osnabrück, to see their relative's newborn child. One of their children liked Finland a lot. They took plenty of pictures of me, because it was such a unique experience for them. I asked them to send those pictures to me but they never did, unfortunately :/.

Immediately after the lift, I spotted a car with the Netherlands-registration plate. This could go to right direction. There was a middle-aged woman filling that car. She was suspicious at first but accepted to take me when I said I'm from Finland. It was also the first time for her to take a hitch-hiker. She laughed to herself that her daughter will be shocked about this. She was clever and analytical. It was inspiring to talk with her. She drove me to Enschede, to a petrol station. She really gave me a good mood.

 After 10 min, I got a lift from a Danish truck driver. He couldn't speak English very well and wasn't very talkative, so I slept most of the time. He drove me to 10 km from Amsterdam. I thanked him a lot. After 5 min, I got a lift from a young guy who drove to Amsterdam city centre. He worked at Amnesty International and had done lots of things with the alternative music scene in Amsterdam. He said the atmosphere in there is going stricter. Local government isn't that liberal anymore and doesn't give space for alternative people to arrange events. He was cool.

Then, finally, I got to Amsterdam. Last destination reached, very smoothly. And it was only 2 pm.

Distance traveled for the day: 475km

Tuesday 20.8 (Day 20) Billund- Hamburg

I spent my night in Zadar airport. During security check, I had to give away my little Swiss knife, which had been traveling with me the last 10 years. It had come very handy in every situation. I should have known that this might happen but.. no can do.
Therefore, I got a bit sad. I started to make a hitching sign while waiting for the flight. One young guy noticed this and came talking with me. He was boheme, liberal, from Copenhagen and had also done hitch-hiking. We came along well. He was coming from the Rainbow-gathering. He said his father could give me a short lift from Billund airport, which was a positive surprise. We talked about structural flaws in society and democracy :). Pretty high-flown.
After arrival in Billund, we met a young nice group also coming from Lost Theory. A bit later I found out that my new friend's father wasn't able to give me a lift, but fortunately, the group we met were so kind to give me a lift to a petrol station near Vejle. It was along the highway, so I could easily get a lift towards south.

However, it wasn't as easy as I thought. I had to ask from many trucks and cars, lasting around 1½ hours. There was even one truck with Finnish registration sign!!
Finally, I got a ride from a car. He was a middle-aged man, and had given lifts before. I travelled around 40 km to south, to Kolding. There I got almost immediately a 10 km lift. They left me to a break spot for cars. After an hour of searching, Romanian truck driver drove me near to Germany border. He was funny and smart fellow. It's always interesting to hear critical thinking of one's home countries, this time Romania. The thing is interesting there. They have such a beautiful landscape, lots of natural resources, potential for tourism, but still the country's not doing very well. Of course heritage from Cold War and Ceausescu (the dictator) still effects.
The driver had this funny cigarette-making machine, which I hadn't ever used before. He didn't think he would return to Romania for a while. He lives in Germany, tries to search a fine lady and drives a truck around the neighbor countries. He had a dream of traveling around places and searching for old castles.

He left me next to truck toll, where the trucks continue their destination. I got a lift almost immediately. He was going to Hamburg but because of strict working hour-agreements, he couldn't continue any further because his daily working hours were finished. So he had to left me to break spot, about 70 km from Hamburg to north. I thanked him very much and he felt a bit sad because he couldn't drive me any further. I didn't expect this to happen but decided to continue because there was still light. However, there wasn't many cars at the break spot, which whom to ask.

I asked from an elder couple. First they were a bit suspicious but then they were able to help me. However, at the same time, another car stopped. I went to ask from the driver and he said he was able to drive me near Hamburg. I thanked the elder couple and jumped in to the car. He couldn't speak well English but I found out he was a car mechanic. He was extremely helpful. As we stopped to a petrol station around 10km from Hamburg, he came with me to search for a lift, but I said he doesn't need to do that. I thanked him and went to look for a lift to Bremen. It was already dark, so it's harder to find one. People think me as more suspicious (than normally).

One driver first said they were going to a different direction, but as we looked at the map, we found out his direction is even better than my route. He thought for a second and finally said the car is full....
I mean, why didn't he say that in the beginning? He gave me hope and then smashed it. Well, I just said how unfortunate and continued hitching for few minutes but got tired and motivation was  also gone. I went to look for a place to sleep, and found one behind the petrol station, in a little forest. First it was very pleasant but later I found out I should have used wool socks, because the night was already a bit cold

Distance travelled for the day: 286 km

Friday 16th- Monday 19th (Days 16-19) Festival life + Deringaj- Zadar

Lost Theory- festival life:

I won't depict details of my festival life, but I say some general and interesting events.

Festival area was a broad valley, surrounded by mountains covered by forest. There ran a river just next the festival area. It was part of a nature protection area. It was allowed to swim in the river, and the water was very refreshing under a hot climate. Nights were cold, though. 

Music was mostly psychedelic music, techno, house, minimal end experimental. And decoration was mind-blowing, especially during the night. Imaginary shapes pointed at the trees with using lights and different materials, with the music sounds. Rather surrealistic. And then all the people wandering around the area, dancing like beasts in their own flow throughout the night, chilling around. It was easy to meet new people and the atmosphere was international.

Afterwards I heard all the electricity was generated through aggregates. It was a big negative side, because the festival wanted to market itself as environmentally friendly. 

I had some sketchy meetings with people in weird environments. Well, they improved my self-consciousness and I could learn new things about myself, but one certain amazing event happened.
 During the last night, I couldn't dance anymore, it was around 4 am. First I thought of going to sleep, but instead, I started walking to the river, in the dark, with my head lamp. As I thought, there was a campfire, other side of the river. I walked over the dam with my barefoot, because the dam was underwater. I went next to the campfire. There were some French people, which couldn't speak English very well, and then a Bosnian guy. Others went sleeping and I kept on talking with the Bosnian guy. He loved the area, and nature in there. He had been there for ages and wanted to keep it pure and clean. Apparently, there was some debate that the area will be sold to someone, who would block open access to the place. We stayed awake till the sun rose, talking philosophical things, praising women (especially our mother's) and drinking beer. I went swimming to the cold river. It was magical cos' no one was around and fog rose from water. I heard only the sound of river rapids. I could even warm myself with the campfire. I said goodbye to the Bosnian guy and went sleeping.

On Monday, Lost Theory was over, and I had to get to Zadar somehow, cos' my flight was about to leave there on next day. I said goodbye to all nice people I had met there and headed for the parking area. I asked for a lift and had a sign. After a while, however, I decided to take a minibus there. I was very tired so it was an easy choice. There was also few other people in the bus. I slept almost the whole journey. After we arrived, we went to have a beer with one German guy, which was a chill thing to do. He had done WWOOFing, volunteering in an organic farm. I got interested in it and that's certainly one thing I will do in some point. I had also bought food from a shop so then I took a bus to the airport and slept my night over there. I slept on soft benches in a corner. There were also pillows. I decided to give them to other sleeping people, to make them feel a bit more comfortable.